Destiny 2's Desert Perpetual Raid: A Nine-Themed Nightmare Party

Guardians across the system collectively groaned when they discovered the Desert Perpetual raid wasn't just another walk in the cosmic park. Added with The Edge of Fate expansion, this Nine-themed monstrosity feels like a Vex-themed escape room designed by a mad scientist with a PhD in frustration. Upon completing the campaign, players are greeted with Destiny 2's first truly non-linear raid since Leviathan – a refreshing change that lets fireteams pick their poison in any order. Choose between battling Iatros' platforming puzzles, Agraios' temporal mind games, or Epoptest's communication chaos. Replayability? Absolutely. Sanity preservation? Questionable. One thing's certain: this raid will have you questioning your life choices when you're on your 15th wipe because Dave forgot to call out a diamond color.

The Beautiful Chaos of Choice

Imagine a circular platform with an ominous onyx tower – your gateway to suffering. Interacting with plates launches you into encounters named like bad poetry: "Interference patterns swell" for Agraios, "Axion is axion" for Iatros, and "All are entangled" for Epoptest. A mysterious fourth plate sits inactive, teasing September's Ash & Iron update like a cosmic cliffhanger. The freedom to choose your path sounds empowering until your fireteam spends 20 minutes debating whether to start with the platforming nightmare or the communication hellscape. Guardians quickly learned that 'non-linear' really means 'equally painful in any sequence'.

Boss Breakdowns: Where Tears Are Currency

Iatros, Inward-Turned: Platform Panic

Oh, Iatros. This walking Vex calamity turns your fireteam into a dysfunctional construction crew with that infernal hourglass draining faster than your patience. The sheer agony of watching your designated runner miss a jump while builders fumble pillar cubes is unparalleled. That moment when someone forgets to sync Diastole buffs? Pure comedy gold if you enjoy sobbing into your headset. The DPS phase is no picnic either – hitting that tiny weakpoint feels like threading a needle during an earthquake while Divinity users scream about crit spots.

• Runner's Trauma: Ascending disappearing platforms while Vex drones play target practice with your dignity

• Builder Blues: Synchronizing cube destruction like over-caffeinated orchestra conductors

• Dunking Drama: Chornon carriers turning into suicidal hoop-jumpers

Agraios, Inherent: Temporal Twister

If Iatros is chaotic, Agraios is downright malicious. Temporality buffs? Ring numbering? Alignment Charges? This encounter turns guardians into confused time detectives. The personal frustration peaks when you realize standing in the wrong light gets you vaporized because Steve misheard "teal" as "eel". And those detain grenade throws? Nothing humbles a veteran raider like whiffing a bubble shield as laser timers hit zero.

Epic moments:

1. The collective gasp when alignment charges randomly assign

2. That beautiful second when detain grenade perfectly blocks the kill shot

3. The crushing silence after someone dunks in the forbidden red ring

Epoptest, Lord of Quanta: Shouting Simulator

Communication breakdowns reach legendary status here. Splitting into left/right/middle teams sounds organized until diamond callouts turn into "break the swirly thing near the glowy bit!". The middle team's pillar deciphering feels like solving ancient hieroglyphs during an earthquake. And shield-breaking? Pure panic when random temporality buffs assign during DPS. Using Thunderlord here feels cathartic – just spray and pray while ignoring mechanics. Mostly pray.

Koregos: The Final Exam

This boss amalgamates every mechanic into one glorious headache. Temporal Oculus buffs turn your screen into a disco nightmare while mine colors and glowing indicators create visual soup. Absolute players screaming color callouts, Constant players scrambling to match perspectives, and Cyclical guardians dunking Chronons like their life depends on it (because it does). The DPS phase with sweeping lasers and portal sprints feels like an obstacle course designed by Satan. Final stand? Pure adrenaline-fueled panic that'll either bond your fireteam for life or end friendships permanently.

Frequently Asked Questions

❓ What makes Desert Perpetual unique?

Its glorious non-linear structure! Choose encounter order for targeted loot farming or just to delay facing Agraios a little longer. Replay value through the roof!

❓ Recommended team composition?

Role	Ideal Class	Notes
Well Warlock	Dawnblade	Mandatory for survivability
Bubble Titan	Sentinel	Emergency "oh crap" button
DPS Specialist	Any	Bring Divinity or Thunderlord

❓ Three essential tips for first-timers?

1. Assign roles CLEARLY – no "I thought you were builder!" excuses

2. Communication > Perfection – call out mistakes immediately

3. Pack patience and snacks – you'll need both

❓ Worst encounter for LFG groups?

Epoptest, no contest. The callout requirements turn quiet randoms into shouting messes. Bring throat lozenges.

❓ Most rewarding loot?

The Exotic pulse rifle from Koregos – worth every tear shed during platforming fails.

Conquering Desert Perpetual feels like surviving a cosmic hazing ritual. The satisfaction of seeing that final clear screen? Priceless.